Thursday, October 07, 2010

From a dear friend... worth sharing!

1. God (or the Universe) never closes a door but that he (or it) opens another or its variant"....or he (or it) opens a window…

What on earth does that mean? That the Higher Power keeps flapping things open and shut in everyone's lives like some crazy game of pinball? Slam door. Open window. Slam window. Open door. God and/or the Universe has better things to do than all this snapping and slamming.

The reality is that sometimes a door just closes, and God may have nothing to do with it. Sometimes an opportunity passes. We have free will. Sometimes we say no to something that might have been a good thing in our lives.

Sometimes someone else denies us access to something. Sometimes health, or fate, or world politics prevent us from having something or being something. End of story. Closing of door.

Sometimes that is a good thing, and sometimes it is very sad, tragic even. But this aphorism asks us to ignore the closing and to go running about looking for an opening, and to not feel bad when something closes.

Actually, I think it makes sense to grieve what is lost, to howl if we need to, to even complain to God or the Universe at large that this was a bit much.

It's OK to not be happy all the time, to not be looking around for the next step before you have figured out what happened with the last one. It's even OK to be pissed off for a while. Or to cry your eyes out until you are done.

And, unless this phrase can be told with honesty to a child in Darfur, then it isn't universally true. Doors close there all the time. And the windows are not opening all that fast, when they open at all.

2. "God (or the Universe) never gives us anything we cannot handle.

Right. Check today's suicide rates and say that again. We get tons of things we cannot handle every day.

That is why we have friends, therapists, communities, families, doctors, loved ones, churches, clubs, temples, bulletin boards, social media, governments, neighbors, advice columns. We cannot get through this life alone.

And who says it was God or the Universe deciding I or anyone else needed this hardship? I cannot believe that God goes around plunking people with horribleness just to watch them manage their way through it. I have come to believe that hardship, illness, tragedy, is random. We are, however, obligated and empowered by God to step up for each other.

And we are loved by God when we are in pain, but there we go with free will again.
Let's revisit that child in Darfur. I know she has way more than she can handle, way more than she should be expected to handle.

3. "If you just (say this prayer, burn this candle, give your soul to God, observe this tradition, meditate this way) everything will be all right."

No. It won't. There is no magic bullet, no instant Karma pill. Life has no spiritual insurance policies, no guarantees.

Life will hurt, and will wound us, and will be unfair. It will provide joy and laughter unequally.
It is our task, our responsibility as human beings to be the joy, be the opportunity, be the hope…for those without joy…without opportunity….without hope.

It is our job to help that kid in Darfur have realistic dreams of enough food, shelter, clothing and happiness.

No matter what you believe, no matter what candles you burn or what language you shape you prayers from, life is messy. It is more fluid than solid. It drips and oozes and leaves a film.

It is unpredictable. It will bring great joy and great sorrow, but to whom and when cannot be made sensible. That doesn't mean that faith cannot comfort. It surely can. It can also drive us to be helpful to each other.

Instead of the aphorisms, it is so much better to just be with people, to stand by and with them when they are in pain. To let them feel the tough stuff with us, with our quiet comfort. It is good for people to be not told they have to stop hurting right away after a big loss. Sometimes, instead of saying things, any things, the best thing to do is just to listen. Listen with love.


At 12:01 AM, Blogger Steve Ballmer said...

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At 3:36 AM, Blogger Auntie Social said...

well written.

At 10:06 PM, Anonymous Tiffany Jewelry said...

This is a great post ,this is the useful information for me.And we believe when God close the door, he will open a window for you.

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